Colossians 3:21 — Do Not Discourage Them

21 Fathers, do not vex your children, lest they may be disheartened.

After addressing the children, Paul now speaks to the fathers. That is significant. Within the family, they bear the primary responsibility – not only for their wives, but also for their children. Father and mother raise the children together, but the father is the one who bears ultimate responsibility for the household. That is why Paul addresses the fathers here.

He warns fathers not to vex their children. The Greek word carries the sense of irritating or provoking. A father can continually criticize his children, make unreasonable demands, or never be satisfied. Paul also gives the reason: “lest they may be disheartened.” A child can lose heart when continually made to feel that he falls short or can never meet expectations. Parents are called to raise their children, not to keep them down. They will encourage their children in areas where they can improve, but above all, they will also let them know what they appreciate.

Where thanksgiving sets the tone in the home, an entirely different, positive atmosphere arises. Parents who live in gratitude will not continually emphasize what their children still lack, but will also recognize what God has given them. In such an environment, children do not lose heart but are given every opportunity to grow.

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